


nO plZ

by nelka7122



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: LMAO, M/M, The best story you will ever read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-09 00:52:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7780477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nelka7122/pseuds/nelka7122
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There coms a time on da clock wher ages are veri important, and if the age is on the clock, u redi for da rooster.<br/>This is a lov story bettr than tWilite about a secret romanse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Obama's secret mistress

**Author's Note:**

> Originely inspirid by Taemin x Obama hyung  
> EnjOi 
> 
>  
> 
> ~~It's about time that I post this abomination. I wrote it like two months ago. If you are easily triggered or offended, don't even read this. This is probably like southpark humor except less funny and more stupid.  
>  Honestly, if you have issues with WW2 jokes Russia jokes, and all kinds of dark humor, DON'T READ ~~

A long time ago, Gon stopped being a smol, innocent child. Hisoka’s sticky nen tentacles were great. It was kind of like getting fucked by an octopus, but as great as that was, there was something else the young lad desired.  
  
Something better.  
  
The answer was, of course, simple.  
  
He needed a leader.  
  
Someone who would stand up above everyone else and show him what adulthood was really all about.  
  
He needed a president.  
  
Yes, it was Obama sensei who he really desired.  
  
What was not to love? From the gray hair, to that crinkly brow, to thoes suits that made him look like a brown potato in a sack; it was quite a flattering image.  
  
And who cared about what others would say? It was perfectly normal for a twelve year old kid to be with a middle-aged man!  
  
The only problem was Obama’s health obsessed wife. Gon didn’t like her, but that’s mostly because she was a woman and killing his groove. He was a very territorial kid. He didn’t want no hoe taking his future husband. She was his rival in….LOVE!  
  
  
**\--- Obama’s POV ---**  
  
Another boring day with my boring wife and her boring sweet potatoes and lettuce. God I hate her. If only I could dump her ass… Sigh. But I have the children to think of. Speaking of children, it’s been a while since I’ve been with one.  So I opened my laptop and went to sexyunderagekids.net  
  
I logged in.  
  
Username: xXBlackPimpDaddy6969Xx  
Password: Reversetittyfuck  
  
Time to look for little boyzzz!  
  
**\---3 rd person POV ---**  
  
Within a matter of seconds, Obama found a picture of our young protagonist. It was a picture of him sitting at a fountain, doing nothing at all. The picture, of course, had been taken without any consent or knowledge, because this site only took pictures of kids to put them up for fapping purposes.  
  
Naturally, Obama did just that.  
  
But he wanted more; much more!  
  
Through a twisted turn of events, Gon met Obama-san. He was everything he ever dreamed of; tall, tall, black, black and black. Black dicks were the best, after all ;)  
  
They banged.  
  
It was awesome.  



	2. KiLuLa meets his tru lov

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nO Commmentt

  
Killua was feeling neglected, to say the least. Ever since Gon left to America to be with Obama-Sama, Killua had been lonely :( Not even those threesomes he sometimes had with his brother and Hisoka could help him. Those nen tentacles just weren’t enough anymore! He wanted Gon back, but that was no longer an option…but there were other options.  
  
Swiftly, Killua turned on his computer and searched for bustyasianbeauties.com. What he found there was incredible! To think that the leader of the one and only true Korea – North Korea – would be on such a website. Well, given those gorgeous moobs, it was blatantly obvious why he was so popular. His profile already had 69696969 hits!  
   
So Killua left him a message.  
  
From: FukMeInDaAss69  
Hello, I’m a little boy :) :) :) Let’s meet and bang  
  
From: NukeManTitties  
Ok *insert eggplant emoji here*  
  
  
To think that the supreme leader would actually meet up with him! What a dream come true.  
  
So they met and banged.  
  
But then Kim Jong Un put Killua in one of his bomb factories because he was a bit short on his child labour staff.  
  
What a sad fate! Killua sneaked out one night and logged onto a forbidden computer, sending an immediate SOS message to a random location. That location happened to be Mother Rossia!  
  
A week later Putin came in riding on his bear with a bottle of vodka in his hand.  
  
“I hav com tu res q a litel boi” he said and rescued Killua. The boy was very grateful. Then Putin fucked him in the ass like he fucked all of Russia.   
  
Let’s just say Putin was very good at putting it in. Especially into smaller, more vulnerable things *cough Ukraine cough*. 


	3. Lest ChepTur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its de last chatur. Enjoi

Why was it that Killua kept on getting put into child factories?? First it was to make Kim Jong Un’s nukes and now this??? A fucking vodka factory?? He was only 12 years old, for fuck’s sake! He shouldn’t be anywhere near alcohol. Yet here he was, slaving away in Putin’s intense vodka factory by day and getting fucked in the ass at night. Sigh. What a boring lyfe. They didn’t even have any sweets to give him. They only had sausages and cheese and sausages and cheese and boring old bread that was probably made by those old ladies. What was the worst was that Killua often found hair, fingernails, and fucking old teeth in that damn bread.  
  
If only there was someone to save him from this lyfe!!!  
  
Alas, one night, when the young boy was exploring Putin’s military bear house, he found a secret passage leading out to a cellar…and in that cellar was…STALIN?  
  
“Ey Kiid, let mi out of dis cellar” The old man said. Yet he wasn’t even that old! Killua was familiar with his history enough to know that Stalin should be REAALLLLYY fucking old, yet he looked as old as Leorio. Was this rly Stalin?  
  
“I will let u out but first answar mi dis. R U RLY STALIN?" Killua asked in broken engurish and text talk. Stalin nodded yes. Good enough.  
  
“I’m da reel fukin rular of Rossia. I shud b out dere fighting! Not loked up in heer like Putin’s bitch. I will make him my bitch insted!!” Stalin exclaimed. Killua had to admit that he liked the idea of Putin being put in his place so he let Stalin out. Stalin was so glad to be out of that cell. He’d been stuck in there for so many years and it was taking a toll on his secretly immortal body.  
  
“Ahaha” He laughed and reclaimed all of Rossia. Communism was the new trend again! Unfortunately for Killua, that meant that he got fucked in the ass again, this time by Stalin. Ffs, would he ever get a break? What was going to happen next? Hitler would come back because he’s actually a vampire and he would also fuck him in the ass? The probabilities were endless ;)  
  
Mein Gott, the possibilities really WERE endless. Day 69 of being Stalin’s bitch and Killua was actually so fed up that he jumped through the window and escaped into the forest. Forty days later, something unexpected happened. Killua was close to dying due to the harsh winds of Rossian winter, and as his eyes flickered open and close, a beautiful moustache appeared before his gaze.  
  
That moustache could only belong to one man.  
  
It was Hitler-Chan-San.  
  
“Never forget” The words the wind spoke were carried around the forest as Killua finally passed out. It doesn’t take a genius to find out what happened next. Hint, Hitler had some fun.  
  
  
The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx 4 reding.  
> subscreib 5 mor


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